1. When you look
at a full moon and wonder how much antenna gain you
2. When a friend gets a ride from you and remarks that you have a lot of CBs in your vehicle, it turns in to an hour long rant on how ham radio is not CB radio.
3. When someone asks for directions, you pause, wondering if long or short path would be best.
4. When you can look at a globe and be able to point to your antipode (and you know what an antipode is).
5. Your cell phone ring tone is a Morse code message of some kind.
6. You have accidentally said your Amateur Radio call sign at the end of a telephone conversation.
7. Your favorite vacation spots are always on mountain tops.
8. You notice more antennas than road signs while driving your car.
9. You have driven onto the shoulder of the road while looking at an antenna.
Porcupines appear to be fascinated with your car.
11. If you ever tried to figure out the operating frequency of your microwave oven.
12. When you look around your bedroom of wall to wall ham gear and ask: Why am I still single?
13. The local city council doesn't like you.
14. You actually think towers look pretty.
15. Your family doesn't have a clue what to get you for Christmas, even after you tell them.
16. Your HF amplifier puts out more power than the local AM radio station.
17. The wife and kids are away and the first thing that goes through your head is that no one will bother you while you call "CQ - DX" a few hundred times.
18. When you pull into a donut shop and the cops there on their coffee break ask if they can see your radio setup.
19. You refer to your children as your "Harmonics".
20. Your girlfriend or wife asks: "You're going to spend $XXXX on what???
21. You plan family vacations around hamfest dates.
22. When you see a house with a metal roof, and your only thought is what a great ground plane that would be.
23. You have pictures of your radio equipment as wallpaper on your computer's desktop.
24. Every family vacation includes a stop at a Ham radio store.
25. The first question you ask the new car dealer is: "What is the alternator's current output"?
26. You buy a brand new car based on the radio mounting locations and antenna mounting possibilities.
27. You have tapped out Morse code on your car's horn.
28. A lightning storm takes out a new Laptop, Plasma TV, and DVD Recorder, but all you care about is if your radios are okay.
29. Your wife has had to ride in the back seat because you had radio equipment in the front seat.
30. Your wife threatens you with divorce when you tell her that you are going on a "fox" hunt.
31. Your wife says 'the kids need to be fed' and you first wonder what their impedances are.
32. When house hunting, you look for the best room for a radio shack and scan the property for possible tower placement.
33. When house hunting, you give your realtor topographical maps showing local elevations.
34. The real estate agent scratches his head when you ask if the soil conductivity is high, medium, or low.
35. You have Ham radio magazines in the bathroom.
36. When your doorbell rings, you immediately shut down the amplifier.
37. Fermentation never enters your mind when "homebrew" is mentioned.
38. Instead of just saying no, you have said "negative".
39. You have used a person's name to indicate acknowledgment.
40. You become impatient waiting for the latest AES catalog to arrive.
41. You have found yourself whistling "CQ" using Morse code.
42. You always schedule the last full weekend in June for vacation.
43. You walk carefully in your back yard to avoid being close-lined.
44. You have deep anxiety or panic attacks during high winds or heavy ice.
45. You and the FedEx/UPS men are on a first name basis.
46. You really start to miss people that you've never seen.
47. Your exercise machine is a Morse code keyer.
48. You walk through the plumbing section at the hardware store and see antenna parts.
49. Your neighbors thought you were nuts when you ripped up your lawn to bury chicken wire.
50. Your next door neighbor thinks that your wife is a widow.
51. Your wife has delivered meals to your Ham shack.
52. If you sold all your Ham radio equipment, you could pay off your mortgage.
53. Removing snow from the roof of your car requires working around the antenna and wires.
54. You have never seen a Meteor Shower because you are inside on 6 meters when they occur.
If your radio equipment has a more advanced processor than your PC.
You hear about a pileup on the local news and you run to your radio
equipment and start calling CQ.
If you install ferrite beads and place shrink tubing on your toaster
If your wife puts something on and asks "Does this make me look too
fat?" and you reply with: "Honey you have an excellent front to back
ratio with appreciable forward gain on the front lobes."
If you think the half human / half machine individuals on a Borg Cube
really just a friendly group of electronic experimenters with similar
60. You have no idea as to the weather forecast for tomorrow, but know the solar forecast for the next month.
61. If your blood type is RF positive.
62. You sell your dog to buy an amplifier.
Your XYL says communication is important in a marriage...so you buy
another radio for the shack.
64. You doodle Hartley and Colpitts oscillators during boring meetings.
..your boss ask's if you understand? And you reply "QSL" !!!